I build a long four-lane road, which I name the ‘Alley of Sin’, and line it with clubs, commercial zones, and an enormous, garish casino. I take over from Phil and find a small, pleasant city buzzing with blimps, and I’m appalled. I email him the save file, only remembering at the last second that I forgot to name the place. I crank up tax, and turn down funding on all the public services. I need to put the city in profit before handing it over-it’s not a utopia if you’re in debt, even if you’ve got an unlimited cashﬂow. My tenure ﬂies by, and I’m largely happy with what I’ve created. I drop taxes to 1%, tanking profits, but boosting growth. I panic-build more roads and designate more residential land-I’d vastly underestimated how much you need to support even a small amount of industry and commerce. Six months in, and most of my land is empty. Finally ready, I unpause and wait for the magic to happen. Then I set up a transport network consisting entirely of blimps. I create a district for agricultural industry, named ‘Farming Simulator 2018’, and a district for nightlife and tourism, named ‘Just Dance 2018’. I name this junction Please Fix This, in the hope that the next mayor will try to do better.

Instead I botch something together, once again ensuring massive traffic problems. I look through Timboh’s creations, but they’re all massive-far too big to fit into the space I have remaining. To this end, I download Timboh’s Marvelous Interchange Emporium, the most popular mod collection on Cities: Skylines’ Steam Workshop page. Inevitably, I end up with an unworkable mess that causes massive traffic problems years down the line. I know from experience that I’m terrible at creating intersections that link the state highway to the sprawl of the town proper.

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